this is a secret message:
hi there. do you find it interesting or perhaps even exciting that soon we're gonna discover what there really is between us ? things are gonna change and for me the inevitablity of what we're going to discover is providing suspense and anticipation. but that's not all it will provide, it will provide relief and it could provide some wonderful things. it could also provide the flipside. that would be foolish to ignore. what we discover will be what we have been unable to discover for quite some time. that is exciting.
i am certain that my heart wont be able to handle the continuation of the on again off again thing - that is too hard for me to deal with. my heart ached for two days straight when we last parted. something, who knows what, must come into light. it must.
it's strange but we've only seen each other a total of five seperate times in the past two years (you've prolly seen the same strangers more than that in the past 2 years) and yet i've grown emotionally attached to you because we've maintained constant contact with each other via email/phone and the infrequent visits we have managed have all been enjoyable (duh), important (yes) and meaningful (very) - even when there were problems. incredible little teaspoons of time. soon, in comparison, they could become heaping tablespoons of time and i wonder what will happen when seeing each other becomes an ordinary, perhaps even normal, thing ? will we dissolve ? or crystalize ? we will find out, and it will happen hand in hand because these answers involve the hearts that make the hands worth holding and the lips worth kissing. we are going to discover together.
Don't be a mouse, be a lion
